I spent some time over at Wake Forest University this evening listening to Spike Lee deliver the keynote address for the Reynolda Film Festival here in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
His comments were passionate and targeted at encouraging young adults to find and pursue the thing(s) that make them happy and about which they are passionate. One poignant statement was when he was discussing how often the dreams and passions of young people don't fit with the expectations of their parents. Mr. Lee said, "Parents destroy more dreams than anyone else." Powerful words of warning and awareness.
I know my parents/grandparents did their best and I also know - in hind sight - that they did not encourage the best of my gifts. I am by talent and nature an entertainer. I love to act, write, and speak publicly. They just didn't have the vision to see how pursuing these arts would be helpful to me.
So, I'm wondering... did you have to swim upstream against the expectations of your parents in order to pursue a dream? did they destroy yours?
Note: Image courtesy of Free Digital Images
Kim, I think I was a lucky child. My parents encouraged my personal talents, and they also pushed me to pursue my dreams. Early on, my mother knew I loved to write and that I had a knack for it, so she always bought me journals and special pens and took me out to the places I wanted to go to be inspired. My father also saw I had a thing for math, so he started to teach me algebra and calculus at a very early age. And, my parents also encouraged my sports pursuits. They helped me to narrow down my selections and choose which athletic activities I wanted to focus on.
ReplyDeleteBut I can certainly relate to what you're saying. I work with students in a school setting, and I see many students who don't have the encouragement they need from their parents. Many times, their parents have their own aspirations for the kids, and that is always quite selfish, I think. It makes the child have to try all the harder to achieve what they truly strive for in life. On the other side, I can see the parents' point of view. I think parents always have the best interests of their children in mind. Maybe there are exceptions, but they are few. For the most part, parents do believe they're doing what is best for their kids. But, there is always a generational gap, which makes for a lot of disparity in ideas and means.
Nevine
Kim,
ReplyDeleteMy parents -- who did the best they could, and a great deal better than they might have -- had childhoods in which circumstances tended to stunt at least some of their potential (both my grandfathers were alcoholics).
As a result, one parent's probably natural inclination to "live and let live" has led to that person's not being as not being as visionary as might otherwise have been the case. The other parent has always tended to see "what can be held onto" more quickly than "what can be grasped with enough imagination."
So, I guess I would have to say that my parents, like yours, were better at grounding me than inspiring me to flight.