A Call to Robust Living - Reposted

“My prayer is not the whimpering of a beggar nor a confession of love. Nor is it the trivial reckoning of a small tradesman: Give me and I shall give you.


My prayer is the report of a soldier to his general: This is what I did today, this is how I fought to save the entire battle in my own sector, these are the obstacles I found, this is how I plan to fight tomorrow… ‘Leader!’ I cry. He turns his face towards me, and I shudder to confront his anguish.


Our love for each other is rough and ready, we sit at the same table, we drink the same wine in this low tavern of life.”


--“The Saviors of God: Spiritual Exercises” by Nikos Kazantzakis


I am truly a fan of Tolkien's ‘The Lord of The Rings” trilogy. I remember spending hours upon hours tucked quietly in my college dorm room, devouring words upon words, page after page as the fantastic saga unfolded and I journeyed with the heroes of Middle Earth in their quests for victory. In the films of the past few years, we have seen the cinematic adaptation of this tale, and I find myself equally enthralled again with Tolkien's message.

Be it the battles of Elves and Orcs, the magical sparring of light wielding Wizards, or the inner struggle of the spirits of Hobbits and a solitary Gollum, the quest and it’s urgency is the same: Avoid the malformed power of the ring until it can be destroyed, at all costs. The heroes know the importance of that last phrase, ‘at all costs.’ Each is willing to, and some in turn do, give their very life for this cause. It is a wonderful drama of the high cost of noble victory.

It is this urgency that I hear in the words of Nikos Kazantzakis written above. If indeed, as I believe is the case, we humans are in need of help beyond ourselves in order to fulfill the beauty of this human drama, and if we are destined to suffer and fail along the way without this help, then there is an equal sense of urgency about our quest as is that of the soldier and the heroes of Tolkien's tale. All the more, If the quest for this assistance is a path that is known by some and open to others, and yet, is never made clear, how can the battle be won?

How tempting it is to tuck into the safety of Bilbo Baggins’ shire (for adventures make one late for dinner) or to hide in the security of the establishment office, for there we feel safe. Might we be missing the more important call for action?

I do not claim to know THE way that anyone should live, but what I do know is that I am committed to the journey toward The Divine, that power that aids and guides me. Do I travel in too scarce a number today? Should I not pause by the road, and share a bit of the tale that has brought me thus far? Can I not beckon others onward to their journey as well? I am made to ask of myself today, “What report can I give to God, today?”

The Myth That Social Media Isn't Selling.

Social media has settled in among us and business are clearly asking more about the nature of this marketing tool. I hear many social media practitioners struggling to differentiate social media from other forms of marketing. We talk a lot about how it is different. So while we all look for THE way to describe the uniqueness, it is forgivable that we have often defined social media by what it is not:

Social Media isn't advertising
Social Media isn't couponing
Social Media isn't about telling
Social Media isn't brand control
Social Media isn't a fad
Social Media isn't selling…

The list could go on and on, but, what has my attention (and aggravation) is that last one on the list: “Social Media isn't selling.” The untruth in this statement isn't so much about a misunderstanding of social media as it is a misrepresentation of selling. So, on to my soap box.

Soap Box – I have great difficulty tolerating the negativity associated with sales. People seem to be afraid of sales people. There is a bad rap associated with sales people. They are viewed as pushy, overly talkative and dangerously manipulative.  "He could sell ice to Eskimos," is often said. Eskimos don't need ice - so the implication is that the sales person could get someone to do something stupid.

I'm not saying there isn't a reason that this reputation exists. There are plenty of reasons. There are unscrupulous sales people that do trick, lie and deceive in order to get people to part with their money. On the other hand, there are countless quality, well trained sales people who make a living everyday helping people, honestly representing companies and products that people truly need. Sales is the fuel that moves our economy. We are a consumer based economy and if not for sales people - small and large, real and virtual - our economy would very quickly sputter to a halt.

If we think about it, we all know quality, professionally trained sales people. They tend to be concerned, attentive and helpful people. They are often very focused on relationships. Their journey to a sale likely begins with a lot of listening and questions. What’s the problem? How long has it been this way? What have you tried to do? How did that work? What are your goals currently? What ideas are you considering? These questions are designed to get clarity on the situation, learn about needs and discover the depth of a problem. Once the sales professional knows this, s/he can begin to look for a helpful solution and offer assistance.

For the sales professional, offering a solution is often about giving choices, options, and letting the client choose. The seasoned sales professional knows, “If I say it they doubt it. If they say it. It’s true.” So, rather than being pushy or argumentative with a single “best, limited time deal,” the quality salesperson offers solutions that provide varying degrees of assistance and lets the client choose.

If this process of choice is going to be successful, there is a need for honesty and openness. Communication needs to be clear and precise and so many sales professionals spend time developing communication skills. Honesty and transparency are better than selling through “smoke and mirrors.”

So, with this cursory understanding of professional selling, we can ask the questions, “Is social media selling?”

Social media and professional selling have these things in common: Connecting via relationships, spending a lot of time listening, asking questions, offering a variety of options, letting the individual choose, etc.
So, dear digital darlings, it would seem to me that Social Media is selling at its best. Let’s test this idea. Look at the list below. Begin each sentence with the words “social media.”

________ is 2/3 about listening and 1/3 about telling.

_________ is about identifying real problems

_________ is offering helpful solutions

_________ is relationship driven

_________ is about connecting

_________ is understanding obstacles and finding ways around, over or through them

_________ is about mutual benefit, the win-win

_________ is about helping someone else be successful, promoting others

_________ is about honesty and acceptance

_________ is about knowing the nos

Now, begin those same sentences with the word “sales.” Go ahead…I’ll wait.

Social media has more in common with professional selling than is first apparent. Let’s say it together: “social media IS selling.”

Two Most Powerful Communication Techniques

The Two Greatest Communication Techniques Known In The Universe

I have spent a good deal of energy developing my ability to communicate with others. I have spoken to thousands of people (sometimes at once), conducted countless one-on-one meetings for purposes that range from pastoral counseling to sales appointments, and I am a father and husband. Much of my life has been – as has yours – spent communicating with others.

I would like to offer to you today, what I consider to be the two greatest tools for successful and effective communication.

1. Listening – the saying had been offered “You have two ears and one mouth so you should listen twice as much as you talk.” Am I listening? Here’s an exercise I find helpful. After you have had a conversation with someone, write down everything you can remember about them and what they said. It might surprise you how little you heard. The art of suspending internal commentary in preparation for speaking in order to hear what is being said – is an art often underdeveloped. Try listening and then repeating what you are hearing for confirmation.

2. Questions – there is a lost skill among us; the ability to ask a quality question. Ask people about themselves, what they would like to achieve, why they are here, what their goals are or just what they plan to do today. Ask them, “Where are you from?” Ask it just that way and listen to the amazing differences in responses. Some people will tell you where they were born. Others will talk about where they live, and still others will tell you where they were just moments earlier.

Your turn!  What helps you succeed in communication?

My Attitude Can Whip Your Attitude

“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” –William James

I spent 8 years in higher education (earn two degrees), 15 years beyond that as a pastor for a mainline denomination, and studied human psychology, pastor counseling and theology. It took a man with no more than a high school education and a background in construction to teach me something real about people, about me.

I was having a bad day and it wasn't even 10:00 am. I’d had an argument with my wife. My children were not behaving the way I wanted them to, and my work schedule for the day was so packed that I knew I wouldn't be able to get all of it done. My brain hurt, my back hurt and I pretty much hated everything and everybody at that moment.

My boss at the time took note of my bad attitude and asked me to come into his office. I did. He listened to my story and then paused before saying, “You have two choices this morning. You can stay pissed and have a sorry day, or you can do something about your attitude.” He reached in the desk drawer and handed me a card* that resembled one of those “do not disturb” door hangers. On the front and back were a series of saying, positive affirmations. He told me to take it and if I wanted to change my attitude to read the saying out load on the way to my first appointment for that day. My attitude wasn't very receptive. I thought of all the psychological cliques that I knew. I thought about how what I was going through was much bigger than a few clever and witty sayings. I thought of a hundred reasons why his suggestion was, at best, inadequate. I didn't challenge him. I took the card and headed for the truck. As I walked out of his office he said one more thing, “I bet you’re too chicken to try it.”

I smiled and for some reason warmed up to the idea of proving him wrong. On the way to my first appointment, I read them out load:

“I will win. Why? I’ll tell you why – because I have faith courage and enthusiasm.” 
“Today I will meet the right people in the right place at the right time for the betterment of all.” 
“I see opportunity in every challenge.”
“When I fail, I only look at what I did right.”

“I’ll never take advice from someone more messed up than I am.”

The readings continued, and so did the change in my attitude. There is great power in the words we speak to ourselves, and by the time I was done – I did feel better and begin to think on the things I could do to be effective and successful that day. I have never forgotten that lesson.

So, I believe who we are begins with what we believe and what we believe is created by what we do every day.

3 Offensive Public Speaking Tips

After one of my earliest public presentations (I was, as they say, still 'wet behind the ears') ended, many people filed by and spoke words of appreciation and encouragement to me. After almost everyone else had left an elderly lady walked over to me and gave me some words of advice I have never forgotten.

“Young man,” she said, “You need a good job for a beginner. I have some advice for you, if you want it.”

I felt a little slighted, but told her I would welcome her feedback.

“Well,” she continued,” Remember these three things: 1. Stand up so they can see you. 2. Speak up so they can hear you, and 3. Once you have said what you came to say, Shut Up. You did OK on the first two, but you kept talking too long tonight. Leave us a little room for thinking”

Then she hugged me and shuffled off.

I eventually got over the injury she inflicted on my pride, but I have never gotten over her words. Time and again I have returned to those words.

1. Stand Up – there are numerous skills that the public speaker needs to master in order for our appearance to assist in our communication.  We need to be seen as  a part of the message we are communicating.
2. Speak Up – clearly spoken, well chosen words projected to the back of the room will always command attention.
3. Shut Up – Every day presentation should have a beginning, a middle and an end. The end should be as precise as the beginning and must always leave room for people to draw their own conclusions and do their own thinking.

Good advice for all of us who speak in public. What are your early lessons in public speaking?

About Something

It's high time I blogged about something. There. Glad that's done.

5+ Words that Make Your Mind Work

A few years back, I developed the habit of inserting carefully chosen words into my speech in order to demand those within ear shot attend to the task of actually listening. I especially enjoy using commonly known but uncommonly used words when answering the harmless question, “How are you?” Faced with an unexpected response and a smile, people will almost always break from their non-thinking routine into a real human exchange. I like offering that to the people in my world and find that they seem to like it, too.

Here are 5 of my favorites.

1. Stellar
2. Splendid
3. Grand
4. Buoyant
5. Delightful

The added bonus – when I tell people I am stellar, I often discover I am!





A word about "Word Smith"



word (wûrd)
n.
1. A sound or a combination of sounds, or its representation in writing or printing, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning and may consist of a single morpheme or of a combination of morphemes.

smith (sm th)
n.
1. A metalworker, especially one who works metal when it is hot and malleable. Often used in combination: a silversmith; a goldsmith.
2. A blacksmith.
3. One who makes or works at something specified. Often used in combination: a locksmith; a wordsmith.

word•smith (wûrd sm th )
n.
1. A fluent and prolific writer, especially one who writes professionally.
2. An expert on words.



And finally- Turning, Spraining and Breaking Phrases

I love a well turned phrase or saying. Be it of colloquial origin or something crafted in context, clever phrases interest me.

My mother punctuates many of her statements with, “Don’t Ya Know?” It isn’t intended so much as a question as a way of emphasizing a fact as she has stated it.

My grandmother is known for coining the phrase, in a moment of Southern Bell disgust, second to none, “That just makes my ass want a cup of coffee.” I’m not sure how it means what it means, but there is no doubt what it means.

One of my former colleagues often would say he was, “Frosted Flakes Great!” That one needs little explanation.

And, although I’m not sure of the origin in my own family mythology, somewhere I picked up the proclamation that one can be “Finer than frog hair.”

Do you have any such turned, twisted or mangled phrases you can share? Feel free. Why it would be “gooder than snuff and not half as dusty,” I’m sure!